I haven’t met (in person) anyone with your condition yet, but from the outside all I can tell is that I would choose a clear mind over a shady one anytime. It hurts oftentimes but I prefer to be in control of myself, than being at someone else’s mercy (doctors, family, shity society). I have no intention to lecture you in any way. Your choices are yours and yours only. All I can tell is that when being young I did hurt myself repeatedly (physically). I don’t know what diagnosis to put to myself as I never went to a doctor. If nobody knows your pain you pass as a sane person and you don’t loose your rights, condition being to survive this way without others noticing 😉. Twenty years since then I managed to get in control of myself and have a normal life. Sometimes luckily it is just a matter of choices. Sometimes it is not.
What I suggest you (having no medical experience, so no knowledge if this is achievable) is to take your life in your hands, don’t run away from pain, embrace it (it is part of who some of us are) and poor it into words (write without the result in mind), and try to create your own discipline. Mask the pain, play with it, experiment and never let a bit of vulnerability be seen in the outside because the smell of blood, well, it attracts predators.
Lastly but not the least I saw that Chuck posted a very good article that could inspire you called “Try This On: Phone It In” 😉. Good luck!
I haven’t met (in person) anyone with your condition yet, but from the outside all I can tell is that I would choose a clear mind over a shady one anytime. It hurts oftentimes but I prefer to be in control of myself, than being at someone else’s mercy (doctors, family, shity society). I have no intention to lecture you in any way. Your choices are yours and yours only. All I can tell is that when being young I did hurt myself repeatedly (physically). I don’t know what diagnosis to put to myself as I never went to a doctor. If nobody knows your pain you pass as a sane person and you don’t loose your rights, condition being to survive this way without others noticing 😉. Twenty years since then I managed to get in control of myself and have a normal life. Sometimes luckily it is just a matter of choices. Sometimes it is not.
What I suggest you (having no medical experience, so no knowledge if this is achievable) is to take your life in your hands, don’t run away from pain, embrace it (it is part of who some of us are) and poor it into words (write without the result in mind), and try to create your own discipline. Mask the pain, play with it, experiment and never let a bit of vulnerability be seen in the outside because the smell of blood, well, it attracts predators.
Lastly but not the least I saw that Chuck posted a very good article that could inspire you called “Try This On: Phone It In” 😉. Good luck!